No Snappy Title – New Band(s) Alert

You feed beefburgers to swans!(By ‘New’ I mean discovered, so no smart-arse comments about having seen them 17 times and owning 20 of their albums.)

Okay, as I am at a loss at what to post and there are a couple of reviews that are sitting on the backburner at the moment, so I’m going to talk about a few bands I’ve discovered recently that I think people should know about. Needless to say, they’ve probably been covered to death on other blogs/sites/winged monkeys, but I don’t care. Read:


Whether they are in control of London’s underground train system remains a mystery. After several people badgered on and on about these guys on a certain message board I frequent, I decided to give Tubelord a listen. I was suitably impressed. A 3 piece from Kingston, who make jangling, noisy pop-rock that twists and contorts itself like a hand spasm on a Parkinson’s victim. There is definitely a touch of At The Drive-In’s pent up aggression, especially in the disjointed, ‘Half Man, Half Amazing.’ Seek them out, especially if you have Attention Deficit Disorder and enjoy dancing like a complete burke.

Tubelord currently have a 7″ single out (now sold out, but you can by it digitally from iTunes!) on Big Scary Monsters records called ‘Feed Me A Box Of Words.’

Fang Island

I suggest you start listening to this straight away. Go on, click on the link above and just listen. Right, now if you don’t know anything about Fang Island be prepared for a shock. This band features one of the guys from minute-long grindcore monsters, Daughters. Yes, really. It kind of reminds me of Oxes, but less sporadic and pompous, with a lot more gusto, vitality and nice choppy chords. Just listen to ‘The Landing’ and tell me the guitar parts aren’t fucking incredible; immensely twiddly and vibrant. A lovely bit of unpretentious math-rock.

(Fang Island are currently without label, but their CD ‘Day Of The Great Leap’ can be bought from their myspace for $8.)

Algernon Cadwallader

If you’re a fan of tappy guitars, delirious screams and jazzy flourishes then Algernon Cadwallader are right up your street. Making the same kind of racket those emo-pioneers Cap’n Jazz pedalled in their brief existence, the Cadwallader’s are a riot of choppy rhythms and shrieks. Their sound almost crosses boundaries into Weezer territory, in that it retains a permanent ‘sunny disposition’ even though their song titles (‘Serial Killer Status’) reflect otherwise. An intriguing prospect, if a little scatter-brained.

(You can buy their album ‘Some Kind of Cadwallader‘ from their myspace for $7.)

Dead Swans

With the huge influx of hardcore bands nowadays, it’s easy to assume and group them all together as ‘shite.’ However, sometimes the odd one slips through that sounds pretty good. Take Dead Swans for example; an extremely pissed of 5 piece from “daaarrn saaarf” who seem to be channelling a mix of The Hope Conspiracy meets This Is Hell. There is a slight lingering feel of Bridge 9 Records about them, but luckily their pummelling rage deadens this. The cocky guitar solo at the end of ‘Preferring the Worst’ shows that they perhaps don’t want to be taken too seriously. Intimidating, noisy and hella good.

Their debut EP ‘Southern Blue‘ can be bought from the links on their label myspace page.


Whatever I was expecting, it wasn’t this. Throats, a hate-fuelled 5 piece from London seem content to act like big guy at your school who would deck anyone that looked at him in a funny way. Under the definition of ‘brutal’ in the dictionary should be their myspace page. A darn-sight more metal than Trigger The Smegging Blood Shed and just as horrific as being sat on by Vanessa Feltz. A catastrophic, discordant barrage of raw metallic rock. You remember that band Curl Up And Die? Here’s a better, faster more dangerous version. Tune in and prepare to have your face ripped off.

Throats are to release a split Ep with label mates Maths on Holy Roar Records as well as tour with the aforementioned screamo mob and support Johnny Truant on part of their July tour.


See above, I’m off to play Doom – hell yeah!

By Ross Macdonald

Lizard Hips

Junior Vice President of Keep It Fast. In other news: I work in social media, talk about dinosaurs, run a book club and have amazing facial hair. I am also a male man who is still not dead.

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