Iâ€™m unsure what a meat balloon is. My first thought was that itâ€™s something to do with filling a sausage with helium; that would certainly be a talking point. It could also be a slang term for (in my best Alan Partridge voice) ‘a ladies chest.’ I feel though that the more cruder generation amongst us would use these words: â€œcorrr, check out the meat balloons on her!â€Â Society is doomed and I hearby apologise for writing that. To be honest, itâ€™s perhaps something best left to the imagination: i.e. one of a sick, deranged pervert.
Pulled Apart By Horses are a rock band from Leeds; an area of the UK that has more Xbox 360 users than anywhere else. Trust me; the only people on Live are myself, various Americans and people with incredibly thick West Yorkshire accents.
‘Meat Balloonâ€™ is a mess, a glorious jumble of chaotic, riff splattered rock music that you could quite easily lose yourself in. The lyrics seem to have been gleaned from a variety of 80â€™s television shows (see the use of â€œawesome, radical! Awesome, totally bodacious!â€Â) and the off-the-cuff, throwaway â€œyeah, fuck yeah, whatever!â€Â by rasping vocalist Tom Hudson, is the drunken slur of someone who spends most of their time wearing a leather jacket, whilst propped up against a jukebox. Iâ€™ve come to the decision that the gang-chant of â€œwe are so macho!â€Â is not horrific by any stretch of the imagination, but the kind of catchy nonsensical statement that would benefit a Rocky training montage video. The music has a similar opening slow drum build up akin to the track ‘Americanaâ€™ by The Offspring, but this is where the comparisons end. If Pulled Apart By Horses sounded any more scrappy, theyâ€™d be a team creating a machine to chuck a mini over a block of flats, egged on all the way by Robert Llewellyn and Lisa Rogers. Their rowdy, indirect punk rock is revitalizing, in the same way downing a shot of horrible tequila and then squeezing lemon juice into your eye is revitalizing. The tremulous breakdown near the songs conclusion marks just how twisted and debauched their sound becomes over these 3 minutes and 44 seconds.
‘The Lighthouseâ€™ is a track that was previously reviewed by Mad Mac, who divulged a strong dislike for this 2 minute rant, citing: ‘my life was not enriched by this listening experience.â€™ In other news, this second track is very different from ‘Meat Balloonâ€™ and employs a juddering stop-start rhythm and does the impossible in sounding even more disorganised and dilapidated. Hudsonâ€™s vocal delivery is that of a man trying to drink a glass of water and shouting at the same time â€â€œ splatter-riffic. The almost classic-meets noise rock section at the 1.12 mark is exceptionally frenzied, reminding me of Mclusky in their bleaker moments. Some cynics might say that 3rd track, ‘Super Hang-Onâ€™ lives up to its namesake and feels slightly like a third wheel when up against the double-act of ‘Meat Balloonâ€™ and ‘The Lighthouse.â€™ This is not so, admittedly it lacks the punch of the first two tracks, but on its own, the track is a barrage of sound, expertly shot with rapid-fire delivery, with a delirious, lurching pace about it.
The verdict? Like, awesome – some might even say radical or bodacious, dude.
(Buy the 7″ and a t-shirt from Big Scary Monsters, you know you want to. Erm, once loaded, click on shop then you should see a link. The t-shirt is pretty fetching. Or if you’re incredibly tight, you can stream it here on last.fm.)
By Ross Macdonald