Shortest Mixtape Ever (Part 1)

Greetings to those of you with attention spans that can only be measured in nano seconds. (No, stop looking out the window……) This new feature will look at the noble art of very short songs and mixtapes.

There’s nothing like receiving a mixtape in the post. It’s a wonderful feeling to know that someone has taken the time and consideration to burn any old iTunes playlist on to a shiny disc. (I’m being sarcastic.) Or has slaved away on the artwork (and tracks from their extensive obscure vinyl collection) for the 90 minute cassette they’ve created; complete with a small picture of themselves in the ‘hilarious’ fictional linear notes.

But seriously, mixtapes are fun; I myself have made many in my time and received dozens in the post, many of very high quality, a couple though have had more filler than a head full of rotten teeth. So, to get down to the nitty-gritty details, below is a mix packed tighter than this guy’s jeans and shorter than the video of Tim Henman’s best Wimbledon moments.

(Editors note: If you are unhappy about having your music displayed on this site, please read our copyright terms on the front page and e-mail us at the usual address and it will be removed. Thank you!)

1.) Charles Bronson – ‘Marriage Can Suck It.’ (0.41)
(top tune this, starts with one of the best spoken word openings to any song, ever.)

2.) Minutemen ‘Ain’t Talkin’ ‘Bout Love’ (0.40)
(Chorus-free cover of that Van Halen track by the legendary Sano Pedro punks, Minutemen. Great stuff.)

3.) Cutting Pink With Knives – ‘Montreal Renegade’ (0.44)
(UK version of Agoraphobic Nosebleed; but listenable grind-pop fun!)

4.) NoFX – ‘Murder The Government’ (0.45)
(Fat Mike’s crew once again, angry at the American Political system.)

5.) Some Girls – ‘A Sick Cult’ (0.56)
(Girls are awesome. Well, Some Girls are at any rate. I’d love to hear a lounge jazz cover of this song.)

6.) Liam Lynch – ‘Happy’ (0.59)
(This guy’s song isn’t on here just because he looks like me, oh no. Light relief for the listener. WHATEVER!)

7.) Take A Worm For A Walk Week – ‘Lumber Puncture’ (0.52)
(Like being trapped in some horrific nightmare; tech-grind-noise. Sickening.)

8.) The Living End – ‘Ready’ (0.34)
(Stand-up bass rock ‘n’ roll in 34 sweet seconds, crikey Sheila!)

9.) Tenacious D – ‘Lee’ (1.02)
(Longest song, just squeezes over the minute barrier, but for comedy purposes. I once worked with a guy called Lee. FACT.)

10.) XOC – ‘Switch Palace/End Game’ (0.59)
(Flashback to the 80s, with some Super Mario World tuneage, a fitting end to this chaos.)

I think you’ll agree; a fine collection of songs. Click here for some of the songs on this on Spotify.


Charles Bronson
Cutting Pink With Knives
Some Girls
Liam Lynch
Take A Worm For A Walk Week
The Living End
Tenacious D

Lizard Hips

Junior Vice President of Keep It Fast. In other news: I work in social media, talk about dinosaurs, run a book club and have amazing facial hair. I am also a male man who is still not dead.

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